Healthy relationships are dependent on the health of the people
in the relationship. This is not exclusive to physical health; in fact
the physical health is lower in importance for realizing a healthy
relationship. Mental and spiritual health are the most influencing
factors when it comes to the health of a relationship.
Mental health
The
easiest way to explain mental health is to say it is how an individual
views and treats themselves. Yes, mental health is often influenced by
outside stimuli, but it still boils down to how the individual responds
to that stimulus towards themselves. Besides, life in itself is nothing
more than an accumulation of outside influences and experiences. It is
how that individual responds, grows and matures from those experiences
that measure their mental health. By looking at it in that manner, it is
much easier to see how important mental health is to a healthy
relationship. If someone does not have a healthy relationship with
themselves, then they will not be able to experience or contribute to a
healthy relationship with anyone else.
Spiritual health
While
typically people tend to associate spirituality with religion, there is
actually a great difference between the two. For the concept of healthy
relationships, we will have to separate the two even more. Spiritual
health is better associated on how an individual views and treats
others. This is our spiritual health because, if we are kind and
generally loving to others, we tend to be spiritually sound. But if
someone generally takes advantage of others and generally mistreats
people, then their spiritual health is very lacking, and over time can
completely dissipate. Spiritual health may be more apparent to the
contribution of a healthy relationship, as it is how someone treats
others. Since a relationship is the cohesive interaction and growth of
two individuals, each individual's spiritual health is important.
The
interesting thing about the spiritual health is that people who have a
poor spiritual health will typically find themselves partnered with
those who have poor mental health. This type of coupling tends to
produce not only an unhealthy relationship, but more likely a completely
toxic relationship. When people get depressed, place their personal
happiness on the shoulders of someone else, they open themselves to
those who thrive on that negative energy. It is this type of
relationship that is most common, and of course the most damaging to
both individuals. People with sound mental and spiritual health might
find themselves with someone who is lacking in either area, but they
will remove themselves from this unhealthy relationship as soon as
possible. Failure to do so, will begin to drain on their own health,
until they eventually, for lack of a better word, compliment their
partner deficiency.
Understanding these basic foundational
concepts will provide you with the pathway to be able to contribute and
experience healthy relationships. Not only healthy romantic
partnerships, but friendships and even family as well. If you find
yourself in unhealthy relationships from time to time, then that might
be a good indicator for you to look at yourself. Now if you find
yourself in those toxic relationships, especially if they seem to go on
and on for long periods of time, then you must immediately look at
yourself. Focus on your own mental health. If you are unable to look at
yourself alone, then get some help. Work on the things you don't like
about yourself, retrain the way you treat yourself. Focusing here is
where your efforts will pay off the most, as an individual's mental
health will affect their spiritual health. Raise one, and the other will
follow. Sometimes your mental health will depend on your physical
health. If so, then start there.
The most important thing to
remember is that if you want to have a healthy relationship, you have to
be healthy yourself. You cannot depend on someone else to do this for
you. It is completely impossible. Healthy people will not stay with
unhealthy ones. And if you are able to bring a healthy person to an
unhealthy level, then it is no longer capable of being a healthy
relationship. So fix your broken parts till you can smile at yourself in
the mirror. Treat others as you wish to be treated. Respect yourself,
and don't allow others to take advantage of you. Be willing to go out of
your way for someone special for nothing in return. When you are able
to be at that point, you will find yourself with someone similar to you,
and the two of you will experience the most incredible, lasting,
healthy relationship you ever imagined.
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